Sewriously speaking
Monday, November 27, 2023
Manoj’s Constitution Day 26 November 2023
Thursday, December 29, 2022
The Art Of Negotiation- RR style (aka निरिच्छ भाव deal making)
Been a while since I posted, so before the year runs out, here's a memory from my three wonderful years at Capital Maharaja Group, Colombo, Sri Lanka.
Mr. R. Rajamahendran, whom we tragically lost in July 2021 after COVID related complications, was then the Chairman of this amazingly diverse conglomerate. I worked for his consumer business, IPL Marketing, and he would often call me up to attend meetings associated with the broader consumer sector which, inter alia, spanned significant interests in carbonated beverages and broadcasting.
A renowned supplier of broadcast technologies was visiting Colombo, to showcase their latest product range, a lot of which would be of direct and immediate interest to the group's radio and television broadcast operations. Some products were even classifiable as of urgent procurement priority, given that broadcast was, is, an extremely competitive sector, and as category leader, Maharaja stood to lose a lot if it didn't stay at the top of its game.
RR, as he was popularly known, would always ask his overseas visitors to arrive in Colombo a day before the scheduled business meetings. Guests would be received at the Bandaranaike International Airport and dropped to one of the fancy hotels dotting the Galle Face, with a welcome note detailing their schedule while on the island, and including an invitation to a dinner, later that evening.
RR decided that he needed me in this meeting and I was asked to attend the previous evening's dinner, so I could meet and greet the visitors.
Exactly per schedule, RR was at his bar to receive his visitors at 7 pm. The delegation arrived about a half hour later and were ushered in to his presence. He would tend his bar himself, pouring, mixing and serving his guests' tipples using the finest wines, spirits and liqueurs to grace any bar anywhere. If they'd visited earlier, he would remember his guests' choices and surprise them by passing them 'the usual'. When a country's top business magnate lays out such hospitality, the hardest businessman will turn gently into putty, as the lashings of fine bev and superb food mellow their mood.
Eventually, well past midnight, it was time for good-night-and-see-you-tomorrow.
Just hours later, at 8:15 the following morning, we were all back in the office, in RR's personal board room, waiting for the visitors to make their way in. They came, still battling jetlag and too much alcohol, and after a short presentation about the Maharaja Organisation, RR let them take charge.
They may have imagined that they were carrying priceless treasures which a small third-world business would instantly snap up. They discovered instead that their host wore an air of dispassionate equanimity, making it clear that he had no particular interest in their shiny gewgaws. This wasn't a mask. A deal would only happen on his terms, or he would be happy to part as friends.
In those 16 hours between the party and the business meeting, RR taught me more about the fine art of negotiation than any book or paper might.
The only path to a successful outcome of negotiation is to enter it without desire or temptation. What we would call निरिच्छ भाव in Indian languages.
Guests would still be feeling almost beholden after their welcome upon arrival, and would feel almost ungrateful if they didn't close their deal, even if it might break their own terms. And ever so often, they did, giving RR the reputation of a great host and tough deal-maker rolled into one.
It's a hard act to follow, but I try. I try.
Saturday, January 29, 2022
Republic Day? Independence Day?
Saturday, November 20, 2021
November 20, 2017: My simpleminded take on the first anniversary of demonetization
Thursday, September 23, 2021
"We are going to have to let you go"
Show me someone who can say 'Human Resources Development' without a trace of irony and I will show you someone who has no self, or any other, awareness.
Ever since business schools and, by implication, business graduates have existed, so have congenial sounding euphemisms for entirely uncongenial phenomena. 'Flexible compensation' is a nice way of saying salary cut with the elusive possibility of performance linked pay. 'Offsite meeting' connotes a stressful, sleepless weekend when the company pays for your booze and expects you to work 14-hour days to produce a half-logical, one-fourth-plausible business plan which incarnates the wild fantasies of the business head. And "Performance Appraisal" means a theatrical performance designed to humiliate the employee: not once, not even twice, but three times. First, the employee is asked to fill her own appraisal document, aka the confessional statement which shall be henceforth be used as accusations by various reviewers. Then, there's the annual walk of shame to the boss's enclosure which begins with crushing anxiety and ends in fatally perforated self-esteem. Finally, there's the increment letter, quantifying the despair in economic terms.
Crowning all these gems of HR doublespeak is the dreaded statement, "We are going to have to let you go".
I speak from experience. On two occasions in a corporate career which lasted from 1985 to 2012, I was at the receiving end of this blatantly hypocritical line. I was not asking to be relieved. I had a wife, two growing children (read exponentiating expenses) and a colossal mortgage to defray. And on both occasions, the job market was beginning to dry up as the economy slowed down. Thankfully, there was a (light) cushion of savings and a large community of well-wishers which allowed the family unit to trundle, only slightly bruised, through choppy waters until, not a moment too soon, the next assignment came my way.
People don't ask to be relieved. Nobody asks to be relieved. I have resigned from jobs, even in a huff once when I was young and single and India's economy was in the first flush of galloping growth, soon after the great unleashing of animal spirits by M/s. Rao and Singh. I had a fundamental disagreement with my boss. Walked to my desk, picked up a memo pad, slipped in a carbon paper or two, and proceeded to write a terse but unambiguous letter of resignation. I wasn't asking to be let go. I was telling him I was done, finished, gone. There have been other resignations too; most have been elaborately constructed announcements of a forking of paths and a record of acknowledgements and gratitude. But none, not one, has ever been along the lines of "Chhodo mujhe, please chhod do, janey do mujhe, bhool jao ki mera tumhara kabhi koi rishta tha".
What, then, is this 'letting go' about? Gaslighting.
There. I said it. HR speak is all about gaslighting. Here's what a self-help website says about gaslighting.
"Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that occurs in abusive relationships. It is an insidious and sometimes covert type of emotional abuse where the bully or abuser makes the target question their judgments and reality.1 Ultimately, the victim of gaslighting starts to wonder if they are losing their sanity".
I entered the corporate world as a management trainee in 1985. Back in those days, employment conveyed a sense of lien: on a salary and some perquisites, on a career path which would involve many promotions and fancier designations, on stability of employment which would be conducive to taking and discharging long-term debt for buying expensive things like homes and cars. That first employer, Procter & Gamble Company, prided itself on offering lifetime employment and the claim held up to scrutiny. People really did join the company as rookies and retire, four or more decades later, having never even contemplated alternative employment.
Employment today is no more than visibility of the next pay cheque or three. En route, however, is incessant corporate gaslighting. To ensure that the employee progressively loses her moorings on not just the outside world but even her own inner universe of ambitions, aspirations and dreams.
Employment, in 2021 and the disconcertingly bleak immediate future is a demolition of the employee's epistemological sense; a blurring to grey of the difference between what is indisputably verifiable and what is merely assertion.
Look what it finally delivers. An ex-employee who exits the door carrying the entire blame and shame for the untimely end of her job. Who struggles with guilt for the merely harbouring the thought that the employer was the real cause of the severance. Whose epistemology is broken.
Am I glad I left it all behind!
Saturday, August 14, 2021
If you didn't see the glass marbles in her eyes, you could easily believe Free India was still alive!
There is no good way of sharing bad news, so let me rip the band-aid off without further ado.
There is little of substance left in India's freedom. Whatever will happen on Independence Day is merely and strictly a pantomime. All the set pieces will be in place. The vast grounds of the Lal Qila will be teeming with youngsters assembled from schools and colleges. NCC or Bharat Scouts & Guides uniforms will be freshly ironed. Other kids will wear tricolor livery and sit in orderly rows to reveal the colours of the Tiranga when the drone cameras hover overhead. Excitable anchors, swept up in paroxysms of patriotic apoplexy, will go breathless in their search for new and even more soaring metaphors for the many-splendoured joys of our Azadi. All these will be no more than opening acts, of course, because the real star act for the morning, all 56 inches of chest, designer apparel, dazzling shahtoosh shawl and yards of turban topped off with perky tura, will stride up next, and launch into his endless ramble about deshbhakti, atmanirbharta, swabhiman, vikas and, as I learned just a short while ago, "partition horrors". He will then allude breezily to how we, the people of India, ably assisted by all the clods and incompetents who preceded him in the prime minister's office, have failed him. And how, despite our feebleness and incompetence, he is back at work, bearing the weight of all 135 crores of us upon his divine shoulders, much as Lord Krishna held aloft the Govardhan Parvat.
The anchors, given all the time he consumes with his tirade, will rush back, their laudatory paeans to the incarnate lord all ready, to flatter the grand panjandrum. The NOIDA brigade will shower their visionary, dynamic, fearless, towering plaudits, which will, of necessity, be punctuated at metronomic frequency with choice expletives for anybody and anything which still opposes or dissents. Successes will be appropriated from far and wide (Neeraj, Bajrang, Sindhu, Lovalina, the Hockey teams, having featured in the morning ramble, will now appear live on channels to reaffirm their gratitude and undying loyalty).
That, briefly, is tomorrow's news today.
In this orgiastic bacchanal, we will be expected to collectively incinerate all the wounds, agonies and malignancies visited on India's body and spirit, since 2014. Most grievous of all? We will be expected to clap and cheer full-throated, as we watch the life force our freedoms; of our democratic republic; dissipate into an steel-grey, grief wracked sky.
The great taxidermist will walk back, well pleased with himself. Free India will have become the finest trophy to be mounted on the walls of his swish new palace, in the necropolis of central vista.
Monday, August 9, 2021
Our fragile social compact
Manoj’s Constitution Day 26 November 2023
A few years ago, Rename Sarkar took a perfectly serviceable 'National Law Day' and rechristened it 'Constitution Day'. No, d...
-
Late last night, by Indian Standard Time, Tim Cook stepped on to a stage in San Francisco to announce the arrival of the New iPad. With Reti...
-
5:45 a.m. January 15, 2012. Sankranti and Pongal festivities for millions and the special annual celebration of the Mumbai Marathon for a fe...
-
Small, narrow room. Boy looks out the single window at the far end. A huge Mango tree dominates the view outside. Its branches snake nearly ...